(C) 2010, Tim Cator
You are invited to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. In order to attend, you must dress in a pure white garment without spot or wrinkle. Your custom-made gown has been pre-paid by the Groom and is available upon request at any time (*some restrictions apply).
* Apparel MUST be received from the Groom, personally. Substitutes not accepted under any conditions. Offer ends with plenty of warning and is NOT good with any other offerings.
Transportation, lodging, accommodations, and food are included at no cost to you, compliments of the Groom and Me. Please call on the Groom at your earliest convenience for directions and further instructions.**
** Written instructions are also available and can be found almost anywhere in the world in a book generally called the Bible.
I AM the only one who knows the exact date and time for this union, so, you must be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. See NOTE.
NOTE: Please do not ask, speculate, or spread rumors as to when this will occur. Faithfully and diligently go about your business with gladness, spreading this invitation to others. I want everyone to attend!!! This will be the celebration to end all celebrations!
I look forward to seeing you soon.
P.S. You are the intended bride.